he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
