I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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