I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Edward fifth and chaser hands
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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