let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
