I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
