I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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