i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We left the knife in your bed.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
