garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
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