Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
