i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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