Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
