Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
