Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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