We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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