I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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