They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Enjoy the penises
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
