STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i need some magic done to my vagina
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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