I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
