And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
