have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
