Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
