my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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