Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
