We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
