I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
