Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
