I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
