You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
