youre lurking in front of me
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother