in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again