I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.