yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
