im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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