I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize