Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I got inside last night via doggy door
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
