ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
