im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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