ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
