no. you can't hotbox the world.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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