Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Randomize