why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize