I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
