Already got asked if we're dating
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
