I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
