i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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