Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
All the doctor said was why
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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