All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I am midnight drunk by noon
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
