Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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