Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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