he shaved USA in his pubs
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
