Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
