I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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