that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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