so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
