apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
