We won't sleep together?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
