he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
