Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
