some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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