Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
