We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
