so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just want to make out with him forever
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