omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize