can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
