My hair reeks of homosexuality.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
