im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize