I'm going to jail i love you
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
