At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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