The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
