All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
