I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
