I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
